LITTLE BLUE MAN CARRYING A TELEPHONE

‘Hello, can you hear me? Hello! Can, you hear me? What’s happened here now? Hello sir, can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Good, I thought I had lost you there. I’m sorry I’m having some technology problems today, one of the frustrations of working from home I’m afraid. Yes, most of us are at home now because…well because of the situation, the virus. Not too bad thank you, I know I’m one of the lucky ones. That doesn’t stop the cabin fever of course but whenever I feel the walls starting to move in, I make myself a cup of tea, go out into the garden for some fresh air and after five minutes I’m as right as rain.’

‘Now, where were we? You were just saying sir about the, what was it…oh no. Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? I can’t believe this. I can hear you, but can you hear me? What about now? No. Nothing. If you hold the line sir, (not that you can hear me), but if you hold the line I will try and get this resolved and if not, I will call you back as soon as I can.’

‘Oh yes hello, I need some help please. Hopefully it’s a quick fix I have a customer hanging on the line and I can’t do anything, not even disconnect. I’ve been having the same issue every day and it always happens in the middle of a conversation. OK thank you. No, no problems with connection, I’m wired in directly now instead of just on wi-fi. Hello, can you hear me? What about now? Thank God. The headphones? Not really no, they just seem to cut out every now and then. Are you still there? Hello. That’s OK I thought you had gone. The laptop? I hope not because it has just been replaced. You can’t?  Why? I understand, of course I understand. I not sure what I’m going to do then, I can’t carry on like this. OK, when will they call me. Within forty-eight hours? You did say forty-eight hours didn’t you? I thought as much, I just had a few seconds of hope there. Oh it doesn’t matter just having a little joke to myself.’ (You heard that alright didn’t you?).

‘Just before you go is there anything I can do in the meantime while I wait for the call? The what sorry? The little blue man carrying the telephone. What man? What telephone? Top left, I see him, I haven’t noticed him before. Underneath, underneath what? Underneath the little blue man, of course. Double click or single click? Too late I doubled clicked, now he’s disappeared and he has taken the telephone with him. Can you just hold on a minute, I have to try and get back to the customer as he is still hanging on after all this time. I won’t be a minute, please hold on, please.’

‘Hello, can you hear me? Hello. Can you hear me now? What about now? Is that better? Hello. Oh, you are still there, I just wanted to say thank for you for all your help and just to let you know my customer has just hung up and once your little blue man returns the telephone, I’ll give him a call back like I promised. I’m going to put the kettle on now. Stay safe. Hello, can you hear me? Hello! Can you hear me now? Breaking up? How much did you hear? Oh nothing important, nothing important at all, I just said take care of yourself. Stay safe. Goodbye.’